Even paradise has the occasional storm. A dear friend of mine says that Hubs and I present to the world this picture of a perfect marriage. But, we all know there's no such thing right? And my marriage is no different. We have things that we have to deal with like any other couple. But we are very careful to be respectful of each other. But sometimes, we fail at that. We do not however feel it's a good idea to go into specifics with outsiders about what our difficulties are. If you are in a situation where you NEED advice or help then go to a trusted advisor or counselor - please do NOT go to twitter or facebook!! And do not grab your phone and rant and rave about your spouse to whomever is free to listen.You'll only feel worse and possibly ruin that person's impression of your spouse. There are reasons to numerous to list as to why this is a bad idea!
So, on Thursday Hubs and I had a problem and we went to bed angry and hurt. (there was no yelling or arguing maybe a total of 5 words were exchanged - this is where tone means everything) We've only done this once before in our almost 3 years of marriage. And it's not a good idea. When you hear people say don't go to bed angry it seems like just a cliché. But you know what happens when you go to bed angry? You don't get any sleep. Because you feel like crap and you know that the person you love the most (likely) also feels like crap. And when you don't get any sleep, AND you feel like crap, it's tough to be productive and have a good day. Here's what I want to share about it.
1. Hallmark does not carry apology cards - if they do the stores we went to were out.
2. It's much better to talk it out and go to bed a little late, than it is to go to bed angry at each other.
3. There is a huge difference in being angry and being hurt. Try to figure out which you are so that you can articulate that to your spouse.
4. If you over reacted to something - admit it. And don't be afraid to take ownership of your actions, words, and feelings.
5. Asking for forgiveness is just as important as giving the forgiveness!
6 - Cinnabon is a tasty way to say I'm sorry :-) I have allergies so flowers are pretty much out of the question - but there were flowers on the card he brought me!! - and a handwritten note that mentioned that hallmark doesn't make I'm sorry cards!
7. The best thing about marrying my best friend, is that he's my best friend. He knows me better than ANYONE! And we love each other fiercely! We never intentionally hurt each other but it does happen. And when it does, we try to remember that it is our responsibility to extend grace, forgiveness, kindness, and love to each other. God calls for us to love on our spouses as Christ loved the church. And because of our desire to grow our marriage, we don't shy away from difficult conversations or sweep things under the rug instead of dealing with them. I'm sure I could go on and on but I think I've said enough. We went on to have a fantastic weekend. And as we are a few short months from celebrating 3 years of marriage, my hope and prayers for our marriage are the same as they were the night we said "I Do" - that we continue to grow in love, love for God, love for each other.
I must go to bed it's way too late, especially since the Cowboys are currently getting spanked by NO...
XOXO
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