Praying for Change.

A change of heart. Either on my side or on his. Another friend has announced her pregnancy (two more announcements will be coming once they reach the 12 week mark. I am so happy for these friends of mine. At the same time my heart is heavy because I had always thought I'd be making an announcement of my own sooner than later. Times like this I really wish I hadn't quit my job. I probably could have stuck with it a few more years. That way we'd be a two income household and have more money saved up, probably even have my student loans paid off by now. The only debt we have right now is my house in TN and my 20K in student loans. And he would really like to get that 20K paid off before we have kids. We also want me to go back to school. But I know that if I go back to school, that'll be even less money being saved so part of me wants to delay that. Even though the more reasonable and responsible part of me knows that its better to just go back and finish up. And then try for a baby. Anyone who's done it will tell you school is much easier when not pregnant and when not taking care of a baby. So the reasonable and rational side of me has nothing but joy for my friends. They have begun a new chapter and its exciting. And as their friend, I get to be part of it and that is exciting! So for now I'm going to tell the impatient, irrational, unreasonable part of me to pipe down. Our time will come and when it does it'll be a blessing to have so many wonderful couples to turn to when we have questions or for play dates or to exchange baby sitting services!

So for now I'm praying for a change. I'm praying that my desire be suppressed until it is time, and I'm praying that he changes his mind and tells me to chuck those pesky bc pills! (that's what I'd like for Christmas this year!)